1 Week Old Hinckley & Upgrading to something Bigger

So I'm super behind on blogging... so instead of writing the longest blog post ever to update you, I'll be writing a couple posts to catch ya up on what's been going on since I gave birth!

Well it's been a little over a week since the arrival of our Baby Boy Hinckley, and I'm loving every second with him! Now I know that its only been a week, but I can confidently say that he's such a good baby! Or maybe it's that he's #3 and I'm use to taking care of babies? Well whatever the reason may be I still say he's such a good baby... he sleeps well both throughout the day and night, which works well for me because I'm only breastfeeding him, so I'm usually feeding him every 2-3 hours during the day, and about the same at night or a little bit longer, other than that he's fast asleep.  A big plus is that he hardly ever cries, the only time he does cry is basically when I'm changing his diaper (he doesn't like the wet wipes).  Hopefully I didn't just jinx myself and he decides to change his good behaviors, but like I said, so far I'm loving every second of it!

When the kids first met him in the hospital they really didn't know what to think.  They were excited to see a baby, but I had to show them that that was their little brother.  I would show them that I didn't have a big tummy anymore, and that "mama's baby" was now here.  Of course they quickly became attached to him, especially my little princess Kesaia.   She wanted to hold him, hug him, kiss him, and all the above. She is actually quite the harasser, you have to be careful with having her in the same room with the baby.  She will climb on the bed and then you'll find her trying to hold the baby in her lap. lol.  At least I know she'll be a good babysitter in the future. :)

Here's a few pictures from our stay at the Hospital:

The kids first time meeting their baby brother

Moe holding his baby brother Hinckley, Aunty Ila (Left), and big sister Kesaia

Kesaia's turn to hold baby! And she was so excited too!

"Pa"- Fehi's Dad: Baby Hinckley's Namesake (Maile)
Baby's full name is Maile Hinckley Latu

A tricycle diaper cake made by my friend-coworker Ena

Kesaia thinking she's cool cause her dad told her it's her bike lol

Baby and I were discharged from the hospital a week ago on Saturday (June 30th), and I have to say things have been going pretty well thanks to my husband and my little sister Ila.  I was a little worried with how the transitioning would be with bringing baby home but all has been good.  Luckily Costco let Fehi have time off (from last Thursday when I gave birth, and he returns to work today- Saturday, July 7th) so he's only been working his grave job, but it's been nice having him home during the day to help take care of the two older kids, while I take care of the baby and rest up.  However, my time of "resting" was short-lived because I feel like I've been on the go since Monday. lol. I guess things never change right? 

When we left the hospital last Saturday we had to make 2 trips because we all couldn't fit in our car (legally) so Fehi had to drop Ila and Moe off at home first, and then picked me, baby Hinckley and Kesaia up.  We had talked about wanting to trade in our car, but thought that we would be okay for now and so we planned on just waiting to trade in later on.  Well now that we had to make 2 trips from the hospital, and we realized that we really couldn't go anywhere together as a family, the reality of needing to get a bigger ride was hitting us.

So on Monday we decided to take our 2009 Toyota Camry and trade it in for a bigger ride.  So as soon as Fehi got off from his grave job, we went with Baby Hinckley, leaving Ila with the two kids, and went off to the dealership.  What was only suppose to take a couple hours turned into like 7 hours of looking at cars, numbers, and then filling out paperwork and then leaving behind our camry and driving away in our new Honda Pilot! I love love love our Pilot. Not only can we fit all 3 kids (with all 3 carseats), but Ila has an actual spot to sit and we still have room for 2 more people.  My husband loves it too because though it's an SUV he doesn't feel like he's driving a big car.

After we got our Pilot we picked the kids and Ila up and went cruising! lol. It was so nice to fit all of us in the car, and still have room to spare! This is definitely something we plan on keeping... we're still deciding on how many more kids we decide to have, but at least (for now) we don't have to worry about how we're gonna fit in the car together. 

- - - - -

 Baby Hinckley's First Week of Life:

- On Monday (7/2/12) he had his first check-up appointment with Dr. Vierra (our favorite Pediatrician at Hillcrest Pediatrics), he weighed in at 7 lbs 4 oz! Yayy for mommy's milk because when he got discharged from the hospital on Saturday he weighed 6 lbs 11 oz... so Dr. Vierra was very happy with his weight gain.

Taken at his appointment, waiting for Dr. Vierra to see him.

- Billirubin (Jaundice) check showed that his billirubin levels were low, so nothing to worry about there.  Because he's breastfed the Jaundice takes a little bit longer to go away, so he's still looking a little yellow in his face.

You can kind of see the yellow in his face in this Pic

 - Currently he's only breastfed (because quite honestly I don't know how to do anything else. I've only breastfed my kids, so that's what I know, and what I'm comfortable with, and of course there's so many benefits for both mom and the baby). He nurses every 2-3 hours during the day, and about 3-4 at night.
- He has LOTS of wet and dirty diapers.  I've gone through 2 packs of newborn diapers since he's been here, and now I'm onto size 1 diapers because they seem to hold up better with all the peeing and pooping this little guy does.
- His siblings ADORE him, and he doesn't mind that they bother him 24-7! He's such a trooper! :)

Kesaia the harasser! lol

 So far life is grand, and I feel pretty well considering all that has changed.  It's such a blessing to be able to bring children into this world, and I thank Heavenly Father for those sacred blessings each day. :)

CHRISTmas Weekend

Christmas has come and gone, and I'm a bit relieved.  Usually christmas is my favorite time of the year, but for some reason this year was alright.  It's probably because we've been busily working, and going to school, but it just hasn't felt like I thought it would this year. However, it has been a good year, and we have had such wonderful blessings.

This year,  I really really wanted to keep christmas about Christ, and not concentrate on the "material" things like most people do. To keep things simple, I'm just grateful and happy for my family, that we're alive, that we're breathing, that we're eternal.  This weekend was actually really nice, and relaxing for us.  On Christmas Eve we watched a few movies on netflix.  I tried staying up to make sure the kids slept before I wrapped their presents, but they didn't sleep and it was already 2 a.m. so I just wrapped their presents in front of them. lol.  My sister had sent some candy for them, so I wrapped each one up for them.  We had also went to D.I. the day before, and I got them some clothes from there and a few new clothes (pajamas, shirts..) from walmart so I wrapped those also. We also got them coloring books with markers that only can be used on that paper, which is my favorite thing cause now I don't have to worry about Moe drawing all over our walls. LOL.

This year we didn't have much for the kids, actually we never have much, but I think it's totally fine. Sometimes I think parents get caught up in how much of the material things they get, that their kids (as well as them) lose the real meaning of christmas. So I was glad with what we had, and I was glad that we got to spend time as a family, and I hope that as my kids get older, we continue to show them that christmas is about the birth of Christ, and to have presents is a bonus.  It's not about having lots of presents under the tree, that's not what defines a "good christmas."  Here are pictures from our Christmas morning:

The kids presents under the tree, looks like a lot, but we literally wrapped up
each things in one box lol.  We figured they didn't actually care about what was inside
rather they wanted to "rip" the paper hahaha

Kids ready to open their first present.  Before we opened presents we said a prayer as a family,
grateful for our family and the blessing we receive, those daily presents from Heavenly Father
are priceless :)

Firs present they opened was new pajamas!
Moe had Toy Story Pajamas, and Kesaia got Minnie Mouse ones.

Daddy and the kids in their new pajamas :)

Mommy's turn :)

Now onto the next present.. 

Bubbles from Aunty Mele (Moe's favorite, he always plays bubbles with Mele)

Kesaia with her candy from Aunty Mele

Moe's new coloring set, yayy no more marking the walls anymore LOL

Kesaia with her coloring book :)

On Friday, we had a Ugly Christmas Sweater Party with a few of our friends at my house.  It was so much fun, and I went to bed tired and full. lol.  We had lots of yummy food, and we played games as well. At the end of the party we had our gift exchange, and it was hilarious.  Whitney had a real white elephant gift (whereas the rest of us bought something under $5) and it was a head with nice pretty hair lol. Here are some pictures from our night.

The first game we played was to dress someone up like Santa..
and as you can tell this group won
The only material they had was tape, white tissue paper, a gold garland and a red plastic tablecloth 

Here's all 3 "santa's" lol

We also played the face the cookie game or whatever you call it
where you have a cookie on your forehead and you only use your facial
muscles to move the cookie down to your mouth
trick with it though was the cookie was chocolate covered so if you took long
you had a melted chocolate trail on your face lol

Did I mention all the yummy food?!?!?
This is a sausage dip and it was DELICIOUS! (thanks whit!)

We also honey walnut shrimp, chowmein, lasagna, cheesy garlic bread, salad, rolls,
and what's not pictured is rice, sweet 'n sour meatballs, shoyu chicken, and banana cream pie
:)

Mone loved his white elephant gift lol... He named it "Dave"

Hoku had a little thing that made all kinds of noises lol
farts, claps, etc... hahaha

It was a spongebob shaving kit thing, and whitney showed me and told me
maybe I should take it for my legs lol, I told them I hadn't shaved since like
summertime so that's why she's laughing lol

And then I braided Dave's hair and mustache lol

It was so much fun with our friends, and we even did some karaoke-ing. We will definitely have another party next year, and hopefully have much more games and what not. Overall everything from the food to the gifts, but especially their presence was wonderful.

And that's how our Christmas weekend was spent. :)

P.S. All is going well so far with my pregnancy.  I'm about 12 weeks along (3 months) and nausea has subsided (thank goodness).  I'm in the "fat stage" so I'm feeling pretty hefty right now. LOL. I show really quick, or maybe it's that I can't suck it in anymore (lol) so I'm sporting a gut, not a pregnancy belly right now. lol. I still haven't found a new doctor, well midwife, so I haven't even had an ultrasound yet.  I haven't quite made the FB announcement, maybe I'll do that when we find out what we're having... :)

Giving Thanks: Day 15 & 16

Day 15:  Day 15 (Tuesday) was a bad day for me, so I'm ESPECIALLY grateful AGAIN (yes 3x times this month!) for my Husband. Remember how I was talking about those headaches, and how they make me sick? Well, yesterday was really REALLY bad.  It felt as if there were like 4 spots in my head that were throbbing, and on top of that, it was making me really sick.  I tried to eat something (fries on our way to school) but that only made it worse.  We have an evening class on Tuesday and Thursdays, and I just laid there.  Our teacher knew I wasn't feeling well at all, so she let me put my head down.  As soon as we were done with school Fehi dropped me off at home so I could try to get some rest while he went and picked up some Tylenol for me and also pick up the kids.   It took him about an hour to do all of that, and when he finally got home I was so relieved and happy to finally take some tylenol.  30 minutes later, I was up and feeling SOOOOO much more better.  I actually was able to eat some toast with butter and jam and then stay up and play with the kids.  Once again, I appreciate my husband so much.  I'm blessed to have him as my eternal companion.  He has definitely helped life my burdens (big and small) and I appreciate it sooo much.

Day 16:  Today I'm grateful to live in Utah.  Believe or not, I am grateful to be starting and raising my family here.  As much as I wish we were in Hawaii with my family, I'm happy to be able to have the ability to raise our children on our own.  I know there are experiences that we would not be able to have if we were home with my family.  Then again, I know there are experiences that we won't be able to have while living in Utah.  Fehi and I know that there's no place like Kahuku.  He wishes that we could move there also, and every time we go home we want to just pack our things and move.  But as soon as come back to Utah, where we have our own house, our own car, jobs that we like, and much cheaper prices, we get a reality check that as far as our little family, Utah is where we need to be.  However, I hope to one day find ourself back home (you know, when the economy is better, and I know we will get stable jobs that will one day afford us a home in Hawaii). Either that, or hopefully my WHOLE family decides they want to move to Utah. For real, that's the real reason. I MISS my family! :)

GIVING THANKS: Day 12 - 14

Okay, so obviously I SUPERLY suck at updating this everyday. But hey, mother of two, full-time student, part-time employee... that excuses me right? LoL.

Day 12: I'm grateful, again, for my HUSBAND. Yes I'm cheating and writing his name down again, because seriously, he deserves the whole month.  It's the little things that make me so appreciative of him. Today at work I was starving, came home ate a sandwich, and I started to get a headache.  Well for me, headaches make me sick, especially after I eat, so then I wanted to vomit.  Instead of going down that road I thought I would take a nap, in hopes that it would make me feel better.  What I thought was 20 minutes, was actually a 2 hour nap.  My loving husband let his wife sleep for 2 hours, while he stayed up with the kids, even though he had worked his grave shift and had already been up with them while I was at work in the morning (isn't he awesome).  Well even after the nap I had, I still wasn't feeling better, and ended up throwing up, which helped my headache just a little, but I was still feeling sick.  I was going to go to walmart to get some things to help me, but he insisted he would go and so he went to walmart, grabbed some sprite and pineapple soda (yumm) and a bottle of tylenol for me.  He even cleaned while I was cooking, and then he ate dinner, and at 4:30pm he finally went to sleep.  I appreciate the little things he does for me, because those little things through out the day, add up to be a lot.  He's always helping around the house, he always helps with the kids, watching and feeding, but most importantly playing with them.  He rarely gets upset or angry about anything, which helps keep the spirit so strong in our home.  He always inspires me to do better, and he's always, always, ALWAYS, thinking of others before himself.  That's why I LOVE and appreciate him sooo much. :)

Day 13: I'm grateful for blessings that come about when you pay tithing! Let me tell you! Between Fehi's job and mines, we don't make a lot, but we make enough.  We aren't able to save as much as we like, between rent and bills, but we are able to make ends meet.  Last week friday Fehi got paid, I had figured that we could possibly have a little extra out of his check, but we still were budgeting pretty tightly.  Come to find out with all our bills we would have to use his WHOLE check (sucks!).  But we figured, it would be ok cause I knew I was getting paid today (Monday), however, I thought my check would be maybe only $200 or so, cause I only work 16 hours a week.  Well to my surprise I got pay way more than I thought, including a $100 bonus, which means we have extra cash for those just in case moments, and to carry us into thanksgiving as well as until next pay day.  I know with out a doubt it's because the Lord is helping us through our faith in paying tithing.  Seriously, I've seen what happens when you don't and do pay tithing, and let's just say I NEVER want to be on the side of not paying tithing.

Day 14:  Today I'm grateful for friends.  Not just any friends, but real true friends.  The kind of friends that you can still call up, even if it's been weeks or months, and you just pick off right where you left off.  The type of friends, that you can count on, no matter what.  I've made new friends, lost some old ones, but there's always been a group of girls that have always been there.  I'm grateful for my "wolfpack" girls.  They know who they are, and I'm grateful to know that after 25 years, most of us are still great friends! LOVE you girls!!!

Giving Thanks: Day 10 & 11

I apologize, cause I'm realizing that I have sucked in writing everyday. So here's my "giving thanks" for yesterday and today :)

Day 10: I'm grateful for all my trials and tribulations.

Yes you heard me, ALLL my trials and tribulations! They have made me cry, angry, upset (big difference from angry lol) and frustrated.  However they've also humbled me, made me very appreciative, and have made me a stronger, better person.  We all experience different trials and tribulations, but I believe it's the way you react to them, that makes you either grow from them or not. I've had my fair share of trials from disagreements, to divorce (not me.. my parents lol) and also a miscarriage, but I can look back on each trial, big and small, and I can say that they've only made me become the person I am today. :)(

Day 11: I'm grateful for Heavenly Father and all his blessings he continues to provide my family.

Everyday I see more and more what he's done for me, from little things to big things, and I can't help but feel loved and so amazed at how much he loves me.  He's forgiven me time and time again, and he's listened to me complain, beg, cry, and plead all in the same prayer (lol).  :) I'm just overjoyed and grateful for all the blessings he's given me! :)

Baby News :)

This post I'm writing on 11/11/11, I probably won't publish it until later.  But I wanted to get down in writing, the excitement and gratitude our little family has been feeling.  Since my last post about getting pregnant (here) my husband and I decided that we would continue to do what we needed to do, but also put forth the effort in conceiving. All we could hope for was that my "friend" would not come around this month.  November 3 (exactly a month from the first day of my LMP) was the day that I was expecting my friend, well not expecting it really (cause I didn't want it) rather I was waiting to see if it would appear.  Let me rewind a little bit, a little before halloween we went to the Dollar Tree and I had grabbed a couple of pregnancy tests.  I decided to take a test, knowing that whatever the result may be (negative, false negative) that it didn't mean that I wasn't pregnant because I knew it was too early since I hadn't actually missed my period.  So after taking the test I seen that it said "negative" but I didn't pay much attention to it cause I knew it was too early, but I was just curious to see if it would turn out positive.

Well November 3rd came and gone.  So that was a good thing for me, because I'm never late on my period.  So I decided that I would wait at least 5 days before taking a pregnancy test.  Well that didn't last long because I woke up the next morning (on November 4th) and decided I wanted to take the test.  I went to grab the box under the sink and when I went to grab the test, I noticed it was the test I had already taken.  The crazy thing is, when I looked at the test again, it was now positive. I guess I didn't wait long enough for it to show up, but there it was 2 lines. :) I took the second test anyways just as a confirmation, and it did come back positive as well.  I was so excited, yet so relieved because we had waited so long and wondered when we were going to get pregnant again.  I started crying, and called my husband, who was at work, and when he answered he could hear the different tone in my voice so he asked me what was wrong.  And I told him "Babe, I'm pregnant" and you could just feel his smile through the phone.

He told me how excited he was, and how happy he was.  I told him not to tell anyone, and that I wouldn't tell anyone, just because of what happened the last time (you can read about it here and here).  This time I'm keeping this in our little family, because I want to be able to cherish it.  I feel myself more at peace, and not needing to put my pregnancy out there for the world to be part of just yet.  This pregnancy is special because it's one we've been waiting since April for, so for about 7 months.  I know other women go through much longer times of waiting, but 7 months was long and hard especially with having miscarried.  I'm especially grateful for Heavenly Father and his blessings.  This trial has really humbled me, it has changed me, and has made me that much more grateful and appreciative of the womanly gifts that I have. Everyday we pray for the safety our family, and especially for the safety and growth of our little one.

The day I decide to announce my pregnancy will probably be after the 1st trimester, maybe when we find out what we're having, unless I start to show before that (I show really quick in the beginning) and people question me lol. I'm just really humbled and want to enjoy this pregnancy, it's amazing that Heavenly Father gives us this gift, to be able to bring another soul into this world. I feel privileged and loved that he would trust me to be a mother to two angels, and now another on the way. :)

Giving Thanks: Day 7, 8, and 9 :)

So I'm gonna cheat a little bit, cause this post deserves to have 3 days worth (even more) of giving thanks!  :)


Today I'm giving thanks, and am so grateful for my Mother: Kesaia Ongoongotau Mafile'o.  All my life she has always worked full-time to support our family, and she was always that mother that made sure to take her children to church.  That's especially one thing I'm grateful for, because even though our father didn't  take us to church every Sunday, my mom, without fail, got up every morning and made sure we all went to church.  She sacrificed so much, and even continued with her schooling while we were in high school.  She completed with her certificate in Medical Assisting, and has continued to work with the same company since then. She continually provides love and support for me and my family, especially my husband.  She actually never met Fehi until she came up for our wedding, but she has loved him and has treated him like a son since day one.  Sometimes they'll gang up on me and it's me against my mom and my husband lol.  This woman is my superhero, she's endured so much in her life to better our lives.  She's my hero, and I'm grateful for the wonderful relationship I and my family have with her.  LOVE you mom!

My mom and my son Moe when he was 2 months old

My mom and step-dad with my children, their grandchildren

Giving thanks: Day 5 & 6

So I totally missed my "giving thanks" yesterday... I've been sick since last tuesday and yesterday I wasn't too congested but for some reason I was very light headed so my awesome husband let me sleep basically all day until this morning when I woke up for work. So here's today and yesterday's "thanks"!!

Day 5: I'm very grateful for my health. Because of my health in able to do the things I can do. I'm able to go to work, and take care of my family amongst all things.

Day 6: I'm very grateful for the opportunity to go to school. I'm especially grateful for programs such as pell grants and scholarships that help afford my goal of going to school.

Happy days of giving thanks!!! :)

BTW, Kahuku won OIA Championships and they even did a flash mob!!! :)

Giving Thanks: Day 2 (and 1.. lol)

Today is the 2nd of November, and I decided that every day I would write something on the blog that I'm grateful for.  I know everyone does this, or a lot of people do, but I've actually never taken the time to do this.  So here we go! (btw, I'm catching up from yesterday also, so this will be day 1 & 2) :)

DAY 1:  I'm grateful for my eternal companion--- Fatafehi Fakana'ana'a Latu

We've known each other for 5 years (this month), but have been together for 4 years, and married for 3.  He's been my constant supporter, and comforter.  He knows me in and out, and brings out the best in me. He's truly someone that has and always inspires me to do better.  He has such a sweet spirit, and huge heart.  He loves continually, and gives often.  He is my eternity, and I love him soo much! :)

Day 2: I'm grateful for my two very energetic, beautiful children!-- 

Moeakiola Fisilau Latu & 

Kesaia 'Atukaima'u Paea He'imoana Lokomaika'inani Latu

Moe is 2 years old and Kesaia is 1 years old.  They keep me VERY VERY VERY busy! But I would not have it any other way.  They bring so much laughter and joy to our home, and bring special spirit that only children can bring.  I love you Moe and Kesaia, and I hope that one day when you read this you will know that your Mom & Dad loves you soooo much! :)

Oh the Emotional Roller coaster!

I don't know whether I can blame the pregnancy (just yet) or just myself for being soooooo emotional...

Yesterday I showed my little sister what a "flash mob" is, and pulled up the video of the black-eyed peas flash mob on Oprah's show and I about started to tear up, and then I told myself to toughen up, cause really.. why was I about to cry about that???

Now after reading a blog about a child passing away, I just about cried rivers.  I can't imagine that type of pain, and when I look at that child that passed away, I see my son.  Since my son was about 8 months old, he's had pneumonia twice, and a whole okole' load of ear infections.  I remember the day he was in the hospital (the first time)... I think I was a little in denial, but I knew everything would be ok.  So when he got pneumonia the 2nd time around (earlier this year in January) it was hard for us to see him lie in bed like that, but we both knew he'd be ok.  I remember having to leave him at the hospital with his dad, because Kesaia couldn't sleep overnight at the hospital.  I was so sad, but thank goodness for skype because I kept that on alllll night so that I could watch him sleep, but in reality it was the other way around... he watched me sleep all night. (lol)

We faced a similar happening (for lack of a better word) when Kesaia was born.  At around 38 weeks (?) pregnant you take a Strep B test (I think that's what it's called), and if it's positive it's fine, you'll just need to get in early enough to the hospital to take antibiotics, if it's negative then all is fine.  So after taking this test, my OB (at the time, not anymore) usually would call ONLY if the result was positive, so I never received a call and thought all was ok.  Morning of April 2nd comes and I start to feel contractions.  We didn't head to the hospital because 1. my contractions weren't close enough, nor were the consistent, and 2. because we were shopping for her that day (we didn't have ANYTHING).  So we shopped and I attempted to eat between contractions, and then we decided (it was about 5pm now) that we should get home and pack and go to the hospital.  We get to the hospital about 730pm, and my contractions were consistent, at about 2-3 minutes apart, maybe even closer.  So as I'm getting changed and into the bed they tell me that I was positive for that strep B.  I was shocked because I was NEVER told I was, and when you're positive they want to make sure you get at least 2 doses of the antibiotics, well I didn't get anything.  So on we went with the delivery, and an hour later Kesaia was born.  We thought everything was ok, until Sunday morning, as we were watching general conference a male pediatrician walks in (our pediatrician is female btw).. he turns the tv off (remember we were watching gen. conf. so I was like.. ummm.. hello!) and he tells us "mom, dad, we need to talk." He says that they tested Kesaia's blood, and it came back positive for bacteria in her blood, and they needed to do a spinal tap to test for meningitis.  In this moment I was stuck in disbelief, because everything seemed fine and dandy, and then he walks in with bad news for us.   He needed to do the test right away, and then we had to put her in the nursery, she couldn't stay with us in my room anymore.  Right away, my husband asked for some time as he tried to call for someone to come and help him give her a blessing.  He called a few people and none answered, right then the Dr. (remember he was a male, our usual pediatrician is a female)... The dr. then asked if we were LDS, and we said Yes. He then asked Fehi if he needed help giving her a blessing, and he said that he could help and that he had oil on hand.  I just about broke down into tears, and just knew that there was a reason for his presence that day.  They blessed our baby girl, and then he did a spinal tap (which I'm glad I wasn't there to witness).  We then spent the rest of the day with her in the nursery.  The hardest thing for me to do was leave her that night.  They said that she could possibly stay an extra 2 weeks (at least) in the hospital.  So as we left, I couldn't help but feel like she was going to be alright.  The next day I stayed at the hospital with her all day, so I could nurse her, and the nurses kept saying she's doing amazingly well for someone who "supposedly" was sick.  Usually they don't do well with feedings, and yet she did.  They also said that some of her blood tests were coming back clean, usually in illnesses the white blood count is high (indicating that the body is trying to fight off an infection) but her numbers were normal, and that she had a suspicion that maybe the blood test that they took initially was  contaminated somehow, but we wouldn't find out for sure until the results of the spinal tap came back.  So I left her once again that night, and the following morning we received a call from her pediatrician saying all the tests were negative, and to come and pick her up.

I bring up these experiences because nothing, and I mean nothing can replace the joys and blessings of motherhood, of being a parent.  I'm blessed, so so blessed, to have carried and brought these children to this earth.  As I was reading the blog of this parent that lost a child, I was reminded of how blessed and fortunate I am to have my children alive today.  I love them, and am excited to bring another life into this world.

Mommy loves you Baby Moe, Kesaia, and baby #3.  I will always cherish you and I promise to strive to do my best, to be a better mother to you.  Last but not least, I love you my Eternal Love, without you none of this would've been possible.

I love my family! :)