Today was a good day, though I received my "monthly gift" and didn't want it. I know in due time the Lord will allow us to have baby #3 (technically 4) again, but like I said, it's all in due time. I try not to figure or sit on why I haven't conceived yet, since my miscarriage, but instead I just go with the flow. But I ain't gonna lie, it's a waiting game every month, and every month I'm hoping my 'friend' doesn't come, but if it does, it's ok, it's just another way of the Lord practicing patience with me. I almost thought this time was it, until this morning I saw my 'friend' had come. Now if this is gonna be TMI for ya, I suggest ya stop reading now, cause I might go in a little detail here (but not graphic details). Usually I would always get my 'friend' in the beginning of the month, then when I miscarried at the end of the month, my friend would come at the end of the month now. So when september rolled around, and I had no friend yet, I thought maybe that meant something, because I'm NEVER late, and I NEVER have been. So September 25th passes, 26th, 27th, 28th, 29th, 30th.. and still no 'friend'. October 1st, nothing, 2nd, nothing, and then the 3rd, wallah.. my 'friend' arrives. (Booo) I have no explanation for it, but I figure my body want's it's original date back. (It's a woman thang... lol)
It's been kind of an eye-opener for me, and makes me regret even pausing on having kids. Though at the moment it seemed like the best option for us, I never realized that it could've made things harder for us afterwards. I've heard of stories where the IUD ruined things for other women, and they still have yet to conceive again, and then for some, it wasn't a problem. I guess I was hoping I would be those 98% (don't quote me on that) that wouldn't have any problems afterwards. I still have hope, I was once upon a time pregnant after removing my IUD, so that's hope for me. Like I said, it's all in due time, I
know the Lord has a reason and plan for our little family. So i'll keep striving to do my best, and hope that one of these days, my 'friend' doesn't come and 9 months later we'll welcome another child into this world.
Until then, I have my loves to keep me company... ;)
Im on the same boat with you lani :) I know the feeling. Thanks for sharing. I enjoy reading you blogs :) take care and plenty baby dust your way :)
ReplyDeleteHello Lani....thanks for posting on my blog. I love blogging because I've been able to meet so many people who have become my close friends. It's amazing how putting on paper what you're feeling and going through can help or relate to so many other people.
ReplyDeleteI've been in the same boat as you girl, all my oldest are 3 years apart, and we didn't want to wait those 3 years...it's hard and stressful, but just like you said, it's all in the Lord's time and it will come...you just have to be patient! Hang in there girl...
You look so familiar to me, have we met in person before??
Ruta- thanks!! I know more babies! lol
ReplyDeleteMonica- I was talking to my good friend Meliani Tonga (well now Mila) she told me that you are President Makai's daughter (sorry I think that's how you spell it lol) and I know OF him, though I know he doesn't know me personally. I think we might have met, but I'm not sure. have cousins that live in Orem that I lived with for a little bit, they're are Mino and Narisha Manu. Hmm.. could that be it?
Yes, that's where it's from....from your Manu cousins...haha what a small world! Yes my Dad is President Makai...most people know him! Tell Meliani I said hi when you talk to her again...man, she used to be a young woman of mine (does that totally age me?) haha
ReplyDeleteHi Lani... My name is Sela Misinale... I see you at EMZ and I know you know my sis Beti so now you know me :D... Just read this post and wanted to comment cause im so in the same boat of the waiting game :(... it TOTALLY SUCKS!!! I hope we both can jump on the prego wagon SOON :D (come on lil babies were waiting) ;D
ReplyDeleteSela- Of course I remember you from EMZ! Though I don't go much anymore.. :( but yeah, it's a waiting game... every newborn I've seen (2 in the past week) I talk to them and ask them if they've seen my babies up there... and to tell them I'm waiting PATIENTLY for them, but to hurry up! hahahhaha... sooo good luck to us! and lets hope we jump on that wagon SOON! :)
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