Today as I got up the first thing that popped up in my mind was to get up and take the trash out. I thought Fehi had forgotten (like he did last week lol) and so I went out and saw the trash cans already out on the curb thanks to my husband. He would've been upset with himself and me if he had forgotten and I took the trash out because that's one thing I'm not allowed to touch. Neither am I allowed to carry any of the shopping in the house, and sometimes, I'm not even allowed to carry baby moe. And it's because of one special reason. I must say that I have kept this to myself (and family and friends) for about 4-5 weeks now, and I'm almost feeling like I'm over the first hurdle so I can share my news, but on my blog only for now. A little over a month ago I wrote this post (BTW, I just actually "published" it... so it hasn't been up until now). And you'll probably have to read it first to get what I'm going to continue talking about...
My heart is still so full of gratitude to Heavenly Father and his blessings he pours over our family. Having a miscarriage, and wanting to get pregnant again was a hard trial for us. I remember the day I found out I was pregnant again and I cried to my husband, I told him about how I just felt at peace. I also told him that I thought having a miscarriage actually hurt me more than I thought, and he agreed. I wasn't horrible, or mean, I just wasn't 100% if you know what I mean. I questioned at times about my choice of putting in birth control in the first place, and started to regret that. I frequently wondered why I even did it, why I thought it was my place to decide when to not have kids, and when to have them, when in fact it's a great blessing to be able to bring a life to this world. I know a lot of people who wish they could have kids, and can't, or aren't able to yet, and there I was able to, but I chose to put it on halt for selfish reasons. And I that's what occupied my mind ever since the miscarriage, and that's why I found peace when I got pregnant again. I'm 10 weeks along, and have a due date of July 9, 2012 and as mentioned before I'm announcing this in my blog because I feel like I'm getting over my first hurdle. In a few weeks I'll be in my second trimester, and will go to my first appointment to see this little angle of ours.
I can't express enough gratitude I have for our Father in Heaven, and all that he has blessed our family with. He continues to help guide us, and protect us and our little one growing inside of me, each day. He's given me such beautiful beautiful blessings. :)
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