My Grandmother's Funeral

It's been some time since I've been able to actually get on my laptop and write down about the passing of my grandmother.  Her name was Mele Tangikina Manu-Olevao.  She was my father's mother, and she passed away on August 10th, 2012 at the age of 73.  Her death was a little unexpected, to me at least, because I didn't even know she was sick and dealing with diabetes.  At the end of July when we took a trip to Sacramento for a wedding I had found out then that she was in the hospital, and that she wasn't doing too good.  She had to be revived 3 times that night, and she was in the ICU connected to machines and tubes that were helping her live.  The next day I flew out to Hawaii, but unfortunately I didn't have enough funds to fly myself and my three kids over to Hilo (where she lived at the time) to see her.  We had hope because she was slowly coming off the machines, and by the end of my week stay in Hawaii, she was moved out of ICU and she was talking.  I left back to Utah on a Tuesday, and that Friday she passed away.  Doctors had suspected that she had cancer, but to run such tests wouldn't do any good for her since she was doing so bad already.  That Wednesday or so she had stopped responding/talking to everyone, and she was back on the machines.  That's when my Uncles, Aunties, Dad and Grandpa made the decision to take her off the machine on Thursday night.  When I found out my heart dropped, and I was sad because I felt like she was waiting for us that whole time we were on Oahu to go see her, but I didn't have any money at all to fly over and do so.  That Thursday night her heartbeat slowly dropped, and she passed away the second everyone left her side (she would do that though lol).  The families had gone home to shower and get something to eat, and my one Uncle that was with her had gone to just get a drink, and in that little time that she was alone she passed away.

My grandmother's death was something hard for me to really deal with because I've never had someone so close to me pass away.  The last time I actually physically saw her was back in 2009 when my son Moe was first born at my cousin's Narisha's wedding.  Upon finding out about her death my dad called me.  Now anyone who knows my family and our history, you would know that my parents have been divorced since 2005 and my Dad and I haven't had the greatest relationship since then.  Even when he called me from Australia after his mom (my grandma) passed away, I was still getting irritated with him (daddy issues lol).  Anyhow, the funeral was set for August 21-22 in Hilo, Hawaii and we all flew out on Sunday August 19th.  I know that my grandma had a hand in making things possible for my family to be able to make it out for her funeral.  Fehi had gotten time off from work because he really wanted to come to meet my dad (he's never met my dad).  So the day we flew we had to fly to SFO, then to LAX, then to Kona and then make that 2 hour drive to Hilo.  That morning the SFO flight was delayed and we barely made it on, but I was afraid that because it was delayed it would ruin our chances of getting on the SFO to LAX flights because they were looking pretty full as well.  When we landed in SFO I ran out with baby to the next gate because we literally only had 20 minutes before that flight departed, but luckily for us that flight to LAX was also delayed and they had exactly 4 seats open for us.

When we landed in Kona I was so relieved and excited to see all of my dad's family.  My own family (my other grandma, my mom, and all my siblings) got in that morning.  My dad was already there, so it was the first time that our actual family was together since the divorce.  I had mixed feelings about seeing my dad because it had been a few years since I've seen him, and I've really only talked to him like 5 times since I got married (so in 4 years). He never met any of my kids, his grandkids, so when we finally got to see him he was happy and he hugged his grandkids and kissed them and said he couldn't believe he was a grandpa.  For my mom, this was the first time she would see him since they divorced and I really didn't know what would happen because they ended on bad terms, but when they saw eachother and started to talk my dad said "it's like we're dating again" lol, but that's a whole nother story lol.  I was just glad that my husband and dad finally got to meet, and I'm glad that my grandkids know who their grandpa is.

Our time in Hilo preparing for my grandmother's funeral was wonderful.  I don't know too much of my dad's side, and so to be able to meet and mingle with them was great.  My greatest and most cherished memory of the funeral was the opportunity I had to help dress my grandmother.  My Aunt Latai (dad's sister) had asked me and my cousin Narisha to do it, and that there would be no one else but the two of us to dress her.  At first I felt like it should be my older sister (the namesake of our grandmother) to dress her rather than me, then I realized that there was a reason why it was only me and Narisha.  We were the only 2 granddaughters that are endowed, and that is why we were chosen to dress her. It was such a humbling, spiritual experience for the both of us.  I cried as soon as I saw my grandma laying there, and I couldn't help but kiss her forehead and hold her hands.  I wish I took a picture of her hands, they were hands that belonged to a hardworking woman.  Anyone who knew my grandma knew that she made such beautiful tongan leis.  And her hands showed it.  She had marks and callouses in the spots where she would hold and weave the leis, she was truly a remarkable woman and giving unselfishly especially with her talents in making leis.

It was a rough few days for us from the moment we landed to when we burried her, but so much has come about because of her.  Her death brought my family back together as one, and I know she's rejoicing because of that alone.  She always worried about my family, and us grandkids, and always wanted things to work out between my parents.  I'm sure she has her wish now, and she's smiling and crying tears of joy now.  My parents are much better parents and individuals now than they were back then, and though they have some things to deal with, they are looking to make things work for us, their kids. My dad cried the whole time we were there, and he has expressed how much he misses us and wants his family back.  I know my grandma wouldn't have it any other way, I love and miss you grandma and I'm grateful for all that you have given us, and for the blessings that have come about in my life because of you.  I love you forever, and I'm grateful to know that families are forever.